I don't feel like I can say this outloud. These thoughts are raw, and true, and I'm hesitant to put this out there. And yet, it is what comes to mind each time I ponder what to write.
Some of you are going to wonder what took me so long to get here. Some of you may not be able to relate. Here it goes...
This is hard!
[large exhale]
Being a teacher, who is working from home, while my child is going to school at home - is hard. And it is mostly the parenting part.
I think the work part helps. It gives me something to do that is focused outside of these walls. There is so much to do that the days zoom by. (Did you see what I did there?)
And then there is this other layer, the part where I have a fantastic life partner who also parents, but they don't do it during the day, every. single. day. For the past nine months, they have gone to their office to work. The office that is 30 minutes from here. The office that doesn't have any parenting.
Yes, they do parenting and household chores and all the things you would want, when they are here. Which isn't all day, for 5/7 of each week.
There it is. I've said it. This raw truth I am living and I am not sure how to feel about it.
So honest and so real. When I was in that situation in the spring, the parents my was so hard. There are parts I miss now, but I’m so grateful I get to go to work. Hang in there. It’s ok to feel this way.
ReplyDeleteThese are days that have been like no other time. The feelings are intense.
ReplyDeleteVery brave to share your truth! I think millions can relate. As someone who is not a parent, I was still riveted by your raw honesty.
ReplyDeleteI cannot even imagine how hard it is to juggle it all. I think so often of my teacher friends who have families at home as I struggle to maintain balance and it is just me. I do not know how you do it all and that is for real! Sending you hugs. This slice is so real for so many right now and I know that does not make it any easier.
ReplyDeleteI feel what you're saying, Kristi. Since becoming a consultant, I've always worked from home except when I'm traveling/in a local school. It's odd having my daughter, in school and at home when I'm trying to work. Somehow we're making it work, but it's still hard.
ReplyDeleteWe'll get through this!
Kristi, that is totally fair, and raw and difficult. It has been a long year. Peace and hang in there! (You said it very graciously and gently by the way.)
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel heard. You describe a very common pattern of how many families have gone through this pandemic. I called it "smooshed boundaries and labor" when we spend all day being both/and - teacher and parent in the same four walls and there's no space to call exclusively our own. I hope you find time to claim for yourself, to recover and regenerate.
ReplyDeleteTeaching at DL is hard. Add parenting to this situation, it is extra hard. You are allowed to feel all the emotions that surface. You are human. I hope you have enough opportunities to fill your cup to be able to keep going.
ReplyDeleteIt is very, very hard. I struggled last spring when I had to do both, and then I took this school year off to just parent... which relieved a lot of the stress, but took away the connection to the outside that you mentioned. Seeing my husband continue to have his job while I slog through days of parenting littles with basically no reprieve, is very hard. And as an introvert, not having even the stillness of a commute each day has been very hard. And like you, I have an amazing husband, who does a great job of parenting & taking care of the house when he can, but it's just... so. hard. As you said. I appreciate your post so much. <3
ReplyDeleteThe same thing is happening at my house. So when my husband comes home early to lay on the couch I want to punch him in the gut! I have to remind myself that he needs a break too. Thanks goodness this is only temporary.
ReplyDeleteI am cheering for you. IT IS HARD - INCREDIBLY HARD. I have a kindergarten aged grand daughter doing remote in my living room while I try to prepare for my grad school classes in the evening and keep her little brother entertained and quiet in my tiny house. I AM EXHAUSTED. You have every right to acknowledge the challenge and your hopes for normalcy - SOON.
ReplyDeleteYou speak a truth many feel. As someone who works alongside teachers, I worried a lot about each of them. I watched teachers balance tight synchronous teaching schedules, the demands of preparing asynchronous components, and adjust in a million ways - all while supporting their own children. I sat in meetings with teachers who had children under three and watched them try to balance it all. As a mom who has worked worked all of her life, I know how hard parenting and working can be (though it comes with a lot of benefits), but these unusual times have really put demands on moms. There's no calling someone to come over. No sending kids off to play. No putting them on a bus to school. Hopefully, we are nearing some change in all of this, but my hat is off to you and moms everywhere this year!
ReplyDeleteYou speak a truth many feel. As someone who works alongside teachers, I worried a lot about each of them. I watched teachers balance tight synchronous teaching schedules, the demands of preparing asynchronous components, and adjust in a million ways - all while supporting their own children. I sat in meetings with teachers who had children under three and watched them try to balance it all. As a mom who has worked worked all of her life, I know how hard parenting and working can be (though it comes with a lot of benefits), but these unusual times have really put demands on moms. There's no calling someone to come over. No sending kids off to play. No putting them on a bus to school. Hopefully, we are nearing some change in all of this, but my hat is off to you and moms everywhere this year!
ReplyDeleteYou speak a truth many feel. As someone who works alongside teachers, I worried a lot about each of them. I watched teachers balance tight synchronous teaching schedules, the demands of preparing asynchronous components, and adjust in a million ways - all while supporting their own children. I sat in meetings with teachers who had children under three and watched them try to balance it all. As a mom who has worked worked all of her life, I know how hard parenting and working can be (though it comes with a lot of benefits), but these unusual times have really put demands on moms. There's no calling someone to come over. No sending kids off to play. No putting them on a bus to school. Hopefully, we are nearing some change in all of this, but my hat is off to you and moms everywhere this year!
ReplyDeleteYou speak a truth many feel. As someone who works alongside teachers, I worried a lot about each of them. I watched teachers balance tight synchronous teaching schedules, the demands of preparing asynchronous components, and adjust in a million ways - all while supporting their own children. I sat in meetings with teachers who had children under three and watched them try to balance it all. As a mom who has worked worked all of her life, I know how hard parenting and working can be (though it comes with a lot of benefits), but these unusual times have really put demands on moms. There's no calling someone to come over. No sending kids off to play. No putting them on a bus to school. Hopefully, we are nearing some change in all of this, but my hat is off to you and moms everywhere this year!
ReplyDeleteLife is hard! Parenting is a challenge in itself, and having to do that alone 24/7 is more than our share, but who knows what we’ve still got to perfect in there that the Big Guy Up There is giving us a chance for. So, hang in there buddy. Soon, it shall come to an end.
ReplyDeleteAnd as they say, “This too shall pass. What doesn’t kill you JUST makes you stronger.”
Life is hard! Parenting is a challenge in itself, and having to do that alone 24/7 is more than our share, but who knows what we’ve still got to perfect in there that the Big Guy Up There is giving us a chance for. So, hang in there buddy. Soon, it shall come to an end.
ReplyDeleteAnd as they say, “This too shall pass. What doesn’t kill you JUST makes you stronger.”
I. Know. How. You. Feel. You love 'em, you love 'em not, you love 'em... But now, as it comes to an end, there's a long list of things I could draw up that I'll definitely miss about those brats!
ReplyDelete