3 of 31 - SOLSC 2022
"Have a great day at school and fun at track!" I say to my daughter as hoists her backpack, heading for the door.
"Are you OK?" I add, looking at her scrunched up face concerned look.
"Mom...."
"Yes?"
"Your scar...."
[Beat]
[Beat]
"Oh!" I had totally forgotten.
She and I had both forgotten, though we are both fully aware that I had a pacemaker implanted in November.
February is the time of year where the weather outside is lovely in Saudi, but not yet so warm that we need the AC on. I have taken to doing my workouts at home, in shorts and a sports bra. She isn't usually around when I'm headed to the shower. Though she had seen my scar as it was healing, it is usually under my shirt.
I am glad that simply acknowledging my scar seemed to right her world; her face unscrunched and she bounced out the door. And yet I found myself thinking about my scar, and the pacemaker under it, several more times throughout the day.
I am thrilled to have my pacemaker. I had no idea how much I needed it and the change I have felt is exponentially greater than anything I expected. Science is pretty great! How I feel about my scar is still forming. It was winter. Even my new medical alert bracelet had been under long sleeves until recently. What will it be like in two weeks when I'm wearing bathing suits and tank tops? I'm not sure.
Science is pretty great! And I hope this means you're feeling better.
ReplyDeleteYou are a strong woman, an inspiration.
ReplyDeleteWow, Kristi! You will be brave going out with your experience-your scar- on full view. People are curious and I'm sure people will be wondering what happened. I hope that every time your feel eyes on you it makes you smile to remember the medical miracle that has made your life better. Many of us have scars that aren't on view. I'm glad your daughter seems untroubled and at peace with your experience, too.
ReplyDeleteYou've been so positive through it all, I'm sure your daughter is a budding braveheart as well!
ReplyDeleteI hope that you feel better with each passing day. I pray that God blesses your recovery and continuing good health to you and your family..
ReplyDeleteYour scar is evidence of your strength and science and as the temps edge up, it will be visible to all. Your strength is something to be proud of! You are indeed strong and resilent.
ReplyDeleteThe scar...in your heart, in your mind; acknowledging its presence and feeling grateful. The shift in emotions from the time of your daughter's reaction to your little big question.
ReplyDeleteI love this title because it brings back memories of my own kids coming into my room: "Uh Dad, I forgot......". Being a few miles from home, I could play the role of savior, gathering what they needed, but that "Uh" always makes me smile.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to hear that your pacemaker is making a difference and that science has helped, even with the scar.
Thank you for sharing your moment with us!
That scar represents a new lease on life. It takes a whiel to feel at home with the scars that cover us. I had neurosurgery in 2007, which left a scar on my neck. Oh, how I used to cover it with makeup. However, as time has passed, it has faded. Even though it's ever present, I haven't covered it with makeup in over a decade. It's just part of who I am.
ReplyDelete