Saturday, March 9, 2019

She's Growing Up (9/31)

9 of 31 - SOLSC 2019


"Would you like a snuggle?" I have no idea where the tears well up from, I ask before they can overflow.

She follows me to the living room where I sit on the couch. Every snuggle we have had since she was big enough to crawl onto my lap herself have been the same; I sit. She crawls/climbs on facing me with one leg on either side of me and leans in.

Not tonight.

As she curls up next to me, waiting for my arms to envelope her and my soothing to take effect, I pause.

This is the moment it all changes. Those moments were before and this is what will be - truly no longer a little girl.

It was a hard moment to swallow, but swallow I did as this wasn't about me. Everything else about the snuggle was the same, including the results and soon we were laughing and back into the kitchen to clean up from dinner.

***

Her door handle began to turn and I looked up from my morning reading to see her, eyes still sleepy, emerge from her room. 

"Would you like a snuggle?" I asked, before I realized what I was saying and how this would probably play out.

Wordlessly she climbed up on my lap, legs on either side, and leaned into me.

6 comments:

  1. That final gesture creates a lovely image with symbolic meaning you’ll snuggle often through the years. Lovely.

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  2. Snuggles will change, but your importance won't. You've done a great job capturing the conversation, action, and intimacy of the moment.

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  3. What a sweet moment! I treasure the snuggle moments from the past and remember them with great love!

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  4. Every age and stage of my kids' lives brought change. Some were hard, others were welcome, but I have loved all of it. Being open to what IS and not mourning what IS NO MORE has helped me more than I could've imagined. Savor those snuggles-but I'm sure you already do!

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  5. You’ve captured this moment so well. Snuggles are indeed important. I hope you can continue to snuggle for many more years - even if less frequently.

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  6. Moments when everything feels like it's about to change are fraught with emotion. Great job capturing it!

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